No one could better interpret Don Bosco's thinking than Fr Michael Rua and the Salesians at Valdocco, who had come together for one of their regular meetings to study the disciplinary and educational situation at the Oratory. Among the recommendations at that meeting, was precisely the one related to educating the young to both love and fear in their relationships with their superiors.

Make yourself loved and, at the same time, feared by the young. This is an easy thing.

When the young see that an assistant is fully concerned with their well-being they cannot

but love him. When they see that the assistant does not let anything happen, meaning

anything which may not be right, and warns them about all their faults, they cannot but

have a certain kind of fear of him, namely that reverential fear that they ought to have

towards their superiors. The assistant has to be very careful about one thing, and that is that

he should not lower himself to the level of the young people in the way he talks or in his

actions, especially during games: he should take part in everything but at the same time

should maintain an air of gravity and make them see by his own behaviou7r that he is their

superior.1206

2. Fear which comes from love

It is clear that in all its versions, fear is not opposed to love but rather comes from it. Fear, in a pupil, becomes 'filial fear’ which develops into deference, submission, honour, obedience and respect for an authentic ‘superiority’.

In certain cases of guilty infractions, fear may be associated with feelings of embarrassment, restraint, shame, blushing, shyness, and a sense of unworthiness and apprehension at the thought of losing the the esteem, trust and support of the one who loves and helps: fear of being separated from the one who loves us is the essential core of authentic fear.

It cannot be excluded that in certain situations, making known duties as well as sanctions for not performing them may produce a 'servile fear', which is not entirely useless for someone who needs to be brought back to reason. Starting from this kind of fear, education properly so-called may be set in motion as a process. This sort of fear may presuppose a certain intimidation, fear of punishment, fear of the one who might inflict them, but it doesn't consist in them. This is how we should read the recommendations made by Don Bosco on various occasions, starting from the Confidential Memo...

Let charity and patience constantly accompany you when you give orders, when you

correct. And make sure that everyone comes to know from your deeds and words that you

are after the good of their souls.

But at the same time,

It should be the concern of everyone to find out those pupils who might be dangerous: once

they have been discovered, insist that they be made known to you.

You shall never accept pupils expelled from other schools or pupils whose moral behaviour you know for sure to be bad.

If it should happen that, in spite of due caution, a pupil of this kind is accepted, assign him a companion of sure morality to assist him and never lose sight of him. Should he be found guilty of indecent actions let him be warned only once and if he falls back into the same actions, let him be sent home immediately.

Should you discover some serious offence, summon the guilty person or the suspected

1206 J.M. Prellezzo, Valdocco nell'Ottocento...., pp. 263-264.