Psychological motives led Don Bosco to choose this kind of family structure for his system, his own family experience, his religious convictions, which had him think about believers as the great family of the children of God; sociological data relating to the scenario of an urban environment where a lot of youngsters lived far from their families, and were strangers in a world they did not understand because of its lifestyle and language, and were practically without a 'family'.
The codification of Don Bosco’s praxis as found in his words and writings conforms to the family paradigm. He wanted to apply to every community of young people what he was first of all demanding of his large community of young people at the Oratory in Valdocco, which he himself directed and gave life to. The Oratory’s structure and life became the norm to be followed by all of his houses. The first thing to be dealt with was the relationship of the young with their superiors, their educators:
Obey those who have been appointed to be your superiors to guide you and direct you, and
be obedient to them: because they will have to render an account of your souls to God
himself; open up your hearts to them and look on them as though they were your fathers,
who ardently want your happiness.1089
Then there were also relationships between the boys themselves: “Honour and love your companions like brothers”; “love one another, as the Lord tells us, but watch out for scandal”. 1090
In a Good Night given on June 1884, Don Bosco exhorted the boys as follows:
There is only one thing I feel I must recommend to you and it is this: be sure to love one
another and not despise anyone. Do not despise anyone but rather welcome everyone into
your company, willingly allow any of your companions to join in your games, dismiss all
kinds of antipathy toward your companions, antipathy which you cannot somehow explain.
Welcome everyone, be kind to all, with the exception of those who indulge in bad talk.1091
On another occasion, Don Bo sco presented his boys with a concise program: “Thank God, speak of God, work for God. Think well of your neighbour, speak well of your neighbour and do well to your neighbour. Never think badly about your neighbour, never speak badly about your neighbour,and never cause any harm to your neighbour.1092
2. Family style
Don Bosco seemed to have sketched out his theory on the importance of the family atmosphere in a Good Night in January 1864. On that occasion he used the image of a beehive, urging his boys to imitate the bees in two things: 1. They obey their queen; 2. They have a sense of solidarity. This is the way by which the small world of education was to become a preparation for the future great world of society, from the perspective of solidarity.
My desire is for you to learn how to produce honey like the bees do. Do you know how the
bees produce honey? Mainly with two things:
1. They do not produce it on their own but under the direction of a queen whom they obey in any circumstance; and then they live together and help one another.
2. The second thing is that they go around and pickup pollen from the flowers here and
(Jugenderziehung, p. 83)
1089 Regolamenti per le case...., part II, Chap. VIII, art. 2And 7, pp. 75-76, OE XXIX 171-172.
1090 Regolamenti per le case...., Part II, Chap IX, art. 1 and 2, p. 77 OE XXIX 173.
1091 D. Ruffino, Libro di esperienza 1864, pp. 17-18
1092 D. Ruffino, Libro di esperienza 1864, p. 73.