effective guide to the world of values.1038
Loving Kindness is a “proven love”1039 and therefore an affective and effective love, because it is proven by deeds, perceivable and actually perceived.
In the letter to the Salesian at Valdocco, dated May 10, 1884, Father John Baptist Lemoyne correctly interpreted Don Bosco's thinking when he wrote:
Love is the foundation (of the preventive system). But, this is not enough. Something is
missing and that something which is decisive in education: “Not only should the boys be
loved but they should know that they are loved”. And this is not enough. This knowledge
will finally be persuasive if they feel loved in the things they like, by “sharing in their
inclinations”; then they will be ready to share, with love, what the educator proposes, such
as discipline, study, in a word, all their duties.1040
4. Loving kindness: a term with many connotations
In the Italian lexicon, familiar to Don Bosco, the term amorevolezza is not identified with amore nor equated with carità, a theological virtue belonging to the world of Christian Revelation. The term stands for a cluster of small virtues which have to do with relationships, attitudes or behaviour among people who demonstrate feelings of love, graciousness and warm availability between one another through words, gestures, or by offering help, gifts. It stands for affection, benevolence, kindness and solicitude: as shown by fathers and mothers, including spiritual 'fathers' and 'mothers', towards their children and by men and women who care for one another, like spouses, engaged couples, lovers and friends; or byprotectors toward those who are to be protected; or by benefactors towards the recipients of their kindness.
In religious terminology, amorevolezza stands for the visible, merciful and welcoming human-divine love of Jesus Christ.
In practice, Don Boscoinvests the term with more meanings than the current lexicon would indicate. Either explicitly or synonymously, he offers it within a formal Christian and pedagogical framework and as part of his own mindset and style which draws its inspiration from an educational, charitable (in the sense of welfare, or wanting to provide social assistance) love which in turn is affective and effective at the same time.
The educator “in word and even more in deed, will show that his care is exclusively directed to the spiritual and temporal benefit of his pupils”. “Assistance requires few words and many deeds”.1041 For Don Bosco, amorevolezza indicates “a complex code of symbols, signs and attitudes”. It is the “features by which one manifests liking, affection, understanding and compassion, and willingness to share someone else's life”.1042
He sums up its wealth of meaning when he was able to give a mature interpretation to the lesson he had learned in the dream at age nine: “Not with blows but with kindness and charity you will have to win over these friends of yours”.1043
1038 N. Endres, Don Bosco Erzieher und Psychologe. München, Don Bosco-Verlag 1961, pp. 72-79.
1039 P. Stella, Don Bosco nella storia della religiosità cattolica, Vol II, pp. 461-462, 471-472.
1040 P. Braido, 'Due lettere datate da Roma...', in P. Braido (Ed.), Don Bosco educatore..., pp. 364-365, 368-369, 381-
382. The texts which emerge from the final redaction (pp. 381-382), far from that Roman May, are identical to those
already presented in the two draft manuscripts which he drew up towards the end of April, beginning of May 1884. 1041 Regolamento per le case..., General articles, art. 2 and 3, p. 15, OE XXIX III.
1042 P. Stella, Don Bosco e le trasformazioni sociali e religiose del suo tempo, in La famiglia salesiana riflette sulla
vocazione nella Chiesa di oggi. Turin-Leumannm Elle Di Ci 1973, p. 162
1043 MO (1991) 35.